I am not from a sporting background, hadn’t played any team sports since school and didn’t particularly enjoy them then. At the age of 41, I had never watched a full football match and had only the vaguest notion of the rules. Then my 8-year-old son suddenly decided he wanted to try out for a team and as he got steadily more hooked in, so did I. I attended every training session and match with him in the first season and grew to really look forward to watching all of the children learn and grow. When one of the coaches left at the beginning of the second season, a parent helper was required and I volunteered. I still didn’t know much about football but I liked the children and could follow the session plans with my group and we all had fun and learnt together. By the end of the second season, that coach was also leaving. The choices were to fold the team or find someone to take it over. I was now invested in watching them all develop and bond so, with a huge amount of encouragement and support from the club, I became head coach.
The coach training was intense. I was the only woman on my course but everyone I met was helpful and positive and willing to explain what must have seemed very basic concepts to them. I spent the lead up to the U10 season researching and formulating training sessions which I then lead with help from an experienced coach supplied by the club. It was hard work, stressful at times but still fun. Again, at this point, everyone – club, trainers, other coaches, parents – had all been supportive and helpful.
Then the matches began and the results were mixed. To be fair, they always had been but I felt keenly aware of any scrutiny as a new (and female) coach. Our club’s ethos was football for all and I tried my best to be inclusive and fair. One of the dad’s suggested I was being too soft and didn’t understand competitiveness. A mum told me boys don’t listen to women and I should have my husband take over. Rival coaches were occasionally patronising but on the whole fairly supportive and I never encountered any of the aggression my predecessor had.
I coached the team for 3 years before my son moved on and I went with him. In that time, I developed a gentler “supportive mum” coded coaching. We had children come and go but seemed to really excel in helping the less confident or neurodivergent children. The ones who had struggled in more traditional teams. I never hesitated to offer any physical affection or support that was asked for. Talking to the male coaches I know, that can be an issue for them.
Becoming a football coach pushed me well out of my comfort zone. It was hard and stressful at times but also highly rewarding and a lot of fun. It’s important that more women volunteer if they can as it opens up the accessibility to the game, not just for girls but for the less obviously sporty boys who might find traditional coaches a bit intimidating. But in order to do that, they need support. I was lucky with the high level I received but I know it varies from club to club.